Permission

I'm back! and embracing the gray

Paris summer sunset

When the world became impossibly loud this year, I got quiet. More accurately, I became silent. It’s been five months since I last wrote anything on this platform, despite the fact that it's been the most connected writing I've done since I began.

I was so consumed with threading the right words to meet the moment. It was paralyzing to demand to find the right way, rather than accepting the paradoxical, imperfect option.

In the false safety of a black-and-white world that we crave, gray can never be the solution.

In those months, I’ve been searching for the “right” way to show up. Is the answer to acknowledge the immeasurable grief, suffering, and fear leeching into this world? To reflect and validate, YES! I see it too!

Is it better to put it all aside and become a light-hearted refuge from the realities we cannot escape? To ignore the world for a moment and provide a balm to our community? It’s a real need. We all could use even a moment more of joy, art, light, and compassion every day.

Do I need to dig into my own story more? My journey has a built-in, superficial, easy button when it comes to marketing solutions to the world — just quit your job and escape the United States! It’s what I did! But, ugh…. that feels so trite, lacking nuance, and frankly, gross.

I’m not saying that any of these answers are wrong. We all need words that reflect our reality, spur us to action, provide sparks of joy when everything becomes too heavy, and offer hope of another option.

In the chaos of the world, I lost the thread on this space.

Why?

Because life doesn’t fit into perfect content pillars and publication calendars. Life is too tender, honest, precious, chaotic, and constantly at odds to be wrapped up in a pristine bow and offered to the world as a solution.

And, life is what I want to write about.

So, I’m tossing all the well-intentioned advice out the window. As

Amie McNee

says, “fuck the niche.” I’m showing up in the messy middle without answers, taking one foot and putting it in front of the other. And my writing is going to reflect that, too.

I’ll continue to write about life as an American overseas, food, and overcoming burnout. Those are some of my favorite topics. But I can guarantee it won’t be limited to that. My writing will be more political and reflective of where we are as a society.

Spoiler alert: Expat life (immigration), food, and burnout are all political… and my writing has always reflected that.

Anyway, I’m giving myself permission to write from the realness of where I am today.
Permission to take in the world, reflect on it, and share it back in a way that makes sense, even if only for today. Maybe, in those moments, we’ll inch ever so closer to truth and humanity.

I hope you stay, as we navigate the mess together.

🫶

Cheyanne

P.S. If this resonated with you, take this week to ask yourself, “What permission do I need to grant myself?”